Relax… Just act Natural

I just put the kids in the bed and decided to flat iron my hair for work tomorrow. A process I have a love hate relationship with for sure. Then I began to think about my hair styling options, maybe it’s time for a change.

I have never been one to jump on any fashion or style bandwagon. Things change too quickly for my taste and the last few years there seems to be a mass transition to sistas going natural. Trolling around on message boards and blogs folks seem to have strong opinions-even biases about our hair. You’re one thing if you chose to get a relaxer and you are another if you choose to go natural. You can’t win! Sista’s, relax, just act natural it’s only hair!

Full disclosure I have been there and done that with the natural phase. Way back in like ’05, ’06-I did the big chop before the big chop was a part of transformation blogs on youtube. As a matter of fact I likely have had every hair color, hairstyle and length (grown or mainly store bought) since I began my career as a kitchen beautician at the tender age of 13. I have experience on both ends of the spectrum and I let me give you the quick scoop.

As a natural sista, I definitely felt free. It’s humid or it’s gonna rain-who cares. Feeling kind of playful, I’ll throw in a flower or put on a scarf. Big dangly earrings to accent the ‘fro-heck yea! I could go back to straight in zero to 3 hours flat (lol) then right back to ‘fro nation after one wash. Unfortunately, the ‘fro didn’t work out. It was always dry-I mean no matter what I used. All natural oils, leave in conditioners, it didn’t matter. A few hours later it would always be right back dry. Combing/picking it out-Lord help me! Actually my boyfriend helped me-he literally had to help me pick out my hair! I am not tender-headed but I was in tears then as soon as it dried up it was shrunk right back down and here we go again with the moisturizer and picking. What didn’t work for me was my 4a/ 4c hair type (and lack of available products and tools-but that’s a whole other issue in this city) For you hair novices I have some quick easy info on hair types below.

Now you can see why I was in tears trying to detangle it even a little bit.

Fast forward years later to regular relaxers in 2011 when had a quarter life crisis and died my hair-didn’t like it and died it back. Bad idea. Although I do a great job taking care of my relaxed hair, it was in horrible shape after that. A year later after many cuts and trims to remove the thinning and damaged hair, I was back to the luscious locks. Thick, healthy relaxed hair. Touch ups every two or three months. Regular trims, regular deep conditioning treatments. Blow drying and flat ironing kept to a minimum. Alternating weekly co-wash and shampoo. Wrapping my head at night. I was on it ya’ll! Then I learned another hard lesson. Stress and poor eating habits are just as bad on your hair as crappy maintenance. My hair began to shed and shed and shed. I didn’t know if it was normal until I did some research.

Generally people have around 108,000-110,000 strands of hair for those with black or brown hair, 140,000 strands of hair for blondes and 90,000 for red heads. I know that seems off but hair thickness and wave/curl pattern play a big part. Losing 50-100 strands of hair a day is with-in normal range considering the different phases hair may be in at any given time.

I think I was losing around 150-175 strands a day. No I didn’t count, but having to clean the bathroom sink and sweep the floor every time I did my hair gave me a good idea. Ugh, I won’t even tell you how often I clogged my shower drain…

I began taking vitamins, using better hair care products (even making my own). Just generally taking better care of myself and lowering my stress level has helped a lot but I’m still left with a mystery-what to do with my hair.

My last relaxer (touchup) was in January of this year and I have slowly cut off the ends of my hair that were damaged beyond repair. (no product can repair split/damaged ends-it just needs to be cut)  I’m left with a half afro/half relaxed head and decision to make. Act natural, or just relax?

What are your natural, relaxed or hair dilemma stories?