Let me get this out here right away-I am surely still a sexy
tenderoni who can drop it like it’s hot but I was just hit with the notion that I can’t recall when I became a
grown-up. I know I didn’t just wake up one day and I was grown. I recall
getting my first place, voting the first time, buying my first drink (legally
and illegally) but I don’t know when I actually really became a grown-up. I
can’t be the only one ya’ll, right?
There are many milestones that mark adulthood for us women.
Some of them come too early (having a baby in high school) others seem to never
happen (getting married or buying your first house). At some point, though, we
look at our lives and the decisions we are making and say, “damn, I’m actually
grown”.
Side note: if you are still finding yourself telling folks on
a regular basis “I’m a grown ass woman” then you may not have reached that
point for real.
It happened somewhere in my mid to late 20’s, I think. I
mean I always acted like I was grown and felt like a goofy kid but now that I’m
28 (plus 2) there are many grown up things I find myself doing that I would
have rolled my eye’s at in my self absorbed early 20’s or smaked my gum at in
my fake hard chick late teens.
Things like clipping coupons. Checking in on my 401K and
credit report on a regular basis. Parent teacher conferences and going up to the school cussing out
teachers and principals (ok that last part may just be a lil’ ghetto but trust
me it needed to be done so don’t act like ya’ll ain’t never done it). Chore
lists and family calendars. Dinner parties and antacids. Self breast exams and migraines.
Passing up the extra hot sauce and blazing hot wings because I know I will be
sick later and ain’t nobody got time to
be sick when all that damn laundry is waiting to be done (I miss my hot wings
soooo much). See, grown up stuff. When did this happen? Can I undo it? I see
chicks all the time who… never mind I won’t go there.
This is something that has been on my mind so a long long
time. It’s the driving force behind the novel I have been trying to write for
FIVE years. I know, that is shameful beyond words but here me out. I was recently struck
with the epiphany that one the major reasons I can’t get it finished is because when I do I will have to admit that I am for real grown. That many of the plans and
hopes and dreams I had for myself had not manifested partly because I refused
to grow beyond who I thought I was at any given year. (yea that was a deep one) Bottom
line. I am grown now, no going back. I am going to finally finish my first
novel and the three others have already began planning over the last few years.
Not fearing rejection or failure, I will accept my life, my grown-ness and work
it ‘til the heels fall off!
To help myself with my goal-I will share snippets of the
journey of my first novel here on my blog. It’s a coming of age story of three
friends who try to hold on to their bond with each other as life-very dramatic
life-happens. It tentatively titled, Should have Could have Would have. I hope
you love it as much as I already do. Before I share, I would like ya’ll to
share your thoughts on when you knew you were a grown woman. Go ahead be
honest, the kids are sleep so they can’t disturb you…
